10th July 2000
Hi all,
I have to admit to hearing something utterly ridiculous recently. With an impending birthday coming up a guy I know at work was asked by his girlfriend to buy a present for the person in question. What was he ordered to get? Yes, of all things, a Cactus plant! Can you imagine a worse present?
First of all you have to get it home. Fine if you are in a garden centre and can put it on a passenger seat immediately, but not if you commute to work. Carry the thing under your arm? Hardly likely, especially if you're likely to get bumped around. Carry it in a bag? You might consider it, but how long will it be until the bag is torn to shreds?
The next step is wrapping it. Given the awkward shape it is probably a good idea to get some help. The conversation would go a bit like this:
"Can you hold that there?"
"Ouch!"
"Sorry!"
"It wasn't you, it was the Cactus."
"Okay, I'll just put this piece of tape h-ouch!"
(I think you get the idea!)
Then the person you give it to has to unwrap it, providing the wrapping paper has lasted that long. Throw in a few more choice uses of the word "ouch" as well as a few skin punctures and I'm sure the recipient will be only too glad to have the plant.
Giver: "It's a Cactus!"
Recipient: "Really?"
Giver: "Do you like it?"
Recipient: "It's lovely!"
At this point the recipient is thinking how to avoid being exposed as a liar. They are also thinking exactly where they can put the plant so that:
1) No-one sees it.
2) No-one is injured by it.
3) It will wither away very quickly.
If you have had any ridiculous presents like this please let us know via our feedback pages.
Have a good week!
Tony
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