10th April 2000
Hi all,
This week (finally)... the wonderful world of car insurance claims! Here are some honest stories behind claims...
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions."
"I collided with a stationary tree coming the other direction."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in- law, and headed over the embankment."
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."
"I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"An invisible car appeared out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
"I told the police that I was uninjured. But on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."
"When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other vehicle."
"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
"I saw the the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car."
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of it's path when it struck my front end."
"I saw her look at me twice; she appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."
"No one was to blame for the accident but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert."
"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprung up obscuring my vision. I didn't see the other car."
"I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him."
"The trees were passing me in an orderly row at fifty miles per hour when suddenly one of them stepped out into my path."
"I ran over a man, he admitted it was his fault since he had been knocked down before."
"I ran into a lamp post that was obscured by human beings."
"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"I am responsible for the accident as I was miles away at the time."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
A customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."
"....as soon as I receive an estimate for the repairs to my cat I will forward it to you."
AND TO END, MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE...
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
CONGRATULATIONS TO list-member Pamela Simpson for her cracking 21st party on Friday night. Birthday regards for the 26th too! (Incidentally no-one was injured by my dancing).
NO CONGRATULATIONS TO Airdrie footballer Paul Jack. Upon being sent off at Livingston Mr Jack wasn't very happy with himself. Fair enough, but he didn't need to try and kick a bin in the players' tunnel. Small problem there too - he missed the bin and kicked the Livingston groundsman instead!
Have a good week!
Tony
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