13th March 2000
Hi all,
This week, the stupid lyrics of one Michael Jackson...
"Or I'll be working from nine to five, to buy you things to keep you by my side."
- "The Way You Make Me Feel"
Really Michael? That's very kind of you, especially when they are just most people's normal working hours. What if that weren't enough? Would you consider some overtime? Some extra days? Maybe even a second job? No, it is hardly likely from a man who probably still earns thousands a week from royalties alone. No, maybe "I'll be working from eleven to one" would be more appropriate.
"You know I'm bad."
- "Bad"
Really Michael? Well if everyone knows why do you need to tell everyone? And anyway, it is hardly something to be proud of, is it?
"Eddie are you okay? Are you okay Eddie?"
- "Smooth Criminal"
Nice of you to ask Michael, although anyone with any grasp of the human body might be able to see how Eddie actually is. And why ask him so much? Surely if he is conscious he can answer himself! Doesn't look good for Eddie if you ask me.
"Beat it... no-one has to be defeated"
- "Beat It"
Oh great, here comes the European Union ahead of its time. "No competitive sports as it has a negative impact on those who don't win."
"I said but unlock the door, 'cos I forgot the key"
- "Dirty Diana"
That's sensible Michael. You're making a phone call, seemingly from a public phone box, telling the missus at home to leave the door unlocked. And of course no-one will walk past saying "Oh, that's Michael Jackson leaving his house unlocked. That sounds like an invitation to break-in and help myself to some nice stuff."
CONGRATULATIONS TO the un-named friend of mine who has challenged a universal truth. "Is there only one extra day in a leap year?", she asked. Yes - sorry to all those women out there who were planning to propose on March 32nd. (There you are Debbie Miller - I "honestly" didn't mention you by name - oops!)
NO CONGRATULATIONS TO the South African marriage counselor, who decided to "help" a husband to beat up his wife. Needless to say the wife is filing for divorce.
Have a good week!
Tony
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