27th August 2007
Hi all,
I've just a week off work, and am due to go back tomorrow. I'm thoroughly depressed about going back to work, as I had a great week. To culminate the week Neil Taylor came up for a few days.
The only problem with Neil coming up is that he's been pretty much everywhere here, so finding something different to do is a bit of a challenge. Desperately seeking something to do on Friday afternoon someone (for the life of me I can't remember who) had the idea to go bowling. It seemed like a good idea, especially as I had played Wii Bowling for the first time on Lorraine's birthday (don't ask). Small problem - under certain circumstances real bowling can be far from enjoyable.
For a start we were stuck with a lane at the end of the alley. The place was pretty quiet, but for some reason all six lanes that were being used were stuck right together. Mmm, nothing like getting up close and personal with every other party in the place! To make things even better the party next to us decided to overdose on bowling balls, not leaving us with any space to put ours. Not that this stopped them from using ours anyway (a petty pet peeve of mine). Once they left a couple of schoolkids came along and started doing exactly the same thing. On top of that Chloe didn't really enjoy herself, and I managed to re-injure my wrist when I started to muck around when putting some spin on the ball. Oh, and I didn't get a single strike in the two games.
So that's the final nail in the coffin for Ten Pin Bowling, as on days like that Wii bowling can be considerably more fun. You're in the comfort of your own home, you don't have anyone there that you don't want to be around, and you don't have to wear a pair of manky, ill-fitting shoes. If Nintendo add a mode where you can step up to your lane, then turn ninety degrees to your right and joke to your friends about how many other people you can hit it will be the death of bowling alleys across the country.
On Saturday night we went out for Ice Cream (good idea, wrong choice of venue by yours truly) and ended up with the six of us making up about half the number of people there. Oh, and I paid ?3.25 for a milkshake which didn't exactly remind me of Freshens, while also annoying the guy serving us. Just call me Mr Popular! I didn't dare ask for Lorraine's latte when the guy serving us "forgot" to pass it to me, so I asked Lucy to ask for it instead.
We still managed to have some fun though, with the most memorable conversation of Saturday night going something like this:
Me: (discreetly) "When Lorraine and I visited a certain North American restaurant chain there was a TV with CNN on, another with ESPN, and beautiful waitresses bringing me refills of Mountain Dew. I couldn't look anywhere."
Douglas: (equally discreet) "When Lucy and I went to that chain in Canada I noticed that most of the guys there were looking at each other, not the waitresses."
Neil: (right as the girls stopped talking) "I remember going to a Hooters in Vienna..."
Cue disapproving female looks in all directions. Just a classic case of bad timing.
When we got back Neil and I started watching Jackass. Neil had never seen any of this before, so with no prior warning of what was coming next he found the scene with the golf carts to be quite amusing. It is actually one of those scenes in film that becomes progressively funnier as it runs, so when they eventually rolled a golf cart I was actually in tears of laughter. Needless to say that's when Lorraine decided enough was enough and turned the TV off.
On Sunday afternoon I was nearly crying again, but for altogether different reasons. Yes, football is back and Palace were on the telly! Good grief, what a pathetic
effort (if you can call it that). By the time Ipswich took the lead I was in full-blown cushion throwing mode, and complaining about the neighbours as much as I was about Clinton Morrison being substituted. I can handle Palace losing (I've seen it happen enough times), but nothing bugs me more than when it looks like the team can't be bothered. Only taking Cookie for a walk and a good phone rant to Pat helped to get it out of my system.
At least Neil succeeded in making me laugh later on, pointing out flaws in various music videos. My favourite observation was when a video showed Elaine Paige drinking in a cafe where the waiter was stacking chairs on tables. "Sorry love, you can't drink here. We're closed."
Following on from the other observations this one pushed me over the edge, and into more tears of laughter. "Now you're just being stupid," was Lorraine's observations. Guilty as charged, m'lud. If you can't be stupid with your best mate, who can you be stupid with?
Have a good week!
Tony
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