16th July 2007
Hi all,
Most of you know that I'm not really a soap-watcher. In recent years I've gone from watching a few to not really watching any, only catching bits of various soaps when I'm doing other things in the room, i.e. ironing, eating, etc.
Possibly the one exception to this has been Home and Away. The Australian soap is usually on Five when I get home from work, and correspondingly have dinner. Usually I would have to say it is pretty good, covering life issues quite realistically and sensibly. Until recently that is. You want evidence? Here it is.
1) Rachel the only Doctor. Okay, this doesn't just happen in Home and Away, but an all-purpose doctor is ridiculous. Rachel has done everything from delivering a baby, to providing counselling on eating discorders and nursing her terminally ill sister-in-law as she died, plus plenty of other duties in-between. It's just ridiculous, she's a doctor, not Wonderwoman!
2) Jack the only policeman. Even though he isn't that far removed from critical injuries (the exact details of which I can't remember) he's involved in everything. Drugs bust at a club? Jack's there! Seemingly minor incident elsewhere? Jack's there!
Someone also ought to mention the rise in crime since Jack started duty in Summer Bay. For a supposedly quiet seaside resort there have been bombings, murders, abductions and plenty of other less serious issues. At least the town has trusty Jack to investigate everything. Hang on, if it wasn't for Jack this wouldn't be happening - check the tapes!
Meanwhile the other policeman, Peter Baker, seems to do nothing except for loafing around and trying to look like David Soul. They might as well go the whole hog and give him a red car with a white stripe down the side of it.
3) Everybody loves Kim. Even though he's judgmental, moody, doesn't seem particularly smart, has a quick temper and managed to get Kit pregnant while he was with Rachel (yes, I know they thought they were dying, but that's no excuse in my book). Seemingly he can do no wrong, everyone seems to like him and yet I can't see a single redeeming factor about him.
Furthermore he is played by Chris Hemsworth, who might be the worst actor in any soap I've ever seen. He's clearly a Hollywood wannabe, with his agent probably pushing him for roles in films like "Brokeback Mountain 2 - Back in the Saddle" and "Baywatch - Staying Afloat".
I think I should get my wife's opinion on him:
(Ten minutes worth of trying to get blood out of a stone later... Remind me in future not to ask anything while Big Brother is on.)
4) Reinforcing stereotypes. Cam the club owner - bad. Jules the biker - bad. James the drug user - bad. Puh-leese! Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be a drug-taking, bike-riding club-owner, but for all three of these characters to ultimately turn into villains was ridiculous.
To take this even further I actually thought the best use of Cam was when he first came into the soap, and his character seemed a little ambiguous, and other characters could only be suspicious of him. Why not just make him a law-abiding character who works hard and is just slightly ruthless from a business perspective? Turning him into a pure villain was just too simple.
5) Kit's ridiculous labour day. Kit eventually went into labour, and was set to be driven to the hospital by Kim. Of course Kim's really an idiot, so when a traffic accident forces them to turn back he instead goes down an old bush track. Cue obvious car breakdown!
Regardless of the fact that they're miles from nowhere Kim delivers the baby, and also manages to bring Kit out of a post-labour fit. Alf (always good for heroic and comedy value, "You flamin' galah!") comes along and quickly drives dodgy Kim, his former bit on the side and new baby along to the hospital (where they're naturally attended to by Rachel, duh!).
Meanwhile the fatality in the car crash turns out to be Kit's mother, Beth. Kit is informed of the news and decides she wants to go home. Now let's recap the events. Traumatic birth in a non-sterile environment, followed by an unexplained seizure and an event causing traumatic grief. And the hospital just let her go home that day. What?! When would that ever happen? Not even one night in the hospital for observation? To the non-medical mind it seems implausible.
6) Not enough Alf Stewart. See above.
N.B. If you can have Mr. T in your pocket and all kinds of other characters there must be a market for Alf Stewart. "Stone the flamin' crows!" He cracks me up.
With that in mind I've got two solutions to help out:
1) Apply some common sense.
2) More Alf Stewart!
Have a good week!
Tony
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