19th March 2007
Hi all,
A quick couple of points before we delve into the final of Dancing on Ice from Saturday night.
1) When I started at University in September 1993 I was in a room next to a guy called Chris. He ended up being my best friend at University, but in the early days before I really got to know him one thing I remember is that he clearly had a decent knowledge of Rugby Union.
For some reason back then there was a series of games shown on weekday afternoons by the BBC. I remember being in Chris's room watching a game with some other rugby fans, and they were discussing Kyran Bracken's recent injury in a game where someone had stamped on his head. They all seemed to be in agreement that Bracken had "been on the wrong side" and what happened to him was justified. What a strange sport (and that's without even mentioning the various post-match activities associated with the game).
2) A girl I really liked at University had a rather strange crush on Kyran Bracken. Since I found out that she didn't really like me I have also considered the possibility of stamping on Kyran Bracken's head to be quite justified.
And so when it was announced that Kyran Bracken was going to be in the second series of Dancing on Ice I turned on, hoping to see a Keegan-esque fall into infamy. No such luck. As it turns out he's been spectacularly good, earning some maximum scores and breezing into the final.
I was planning on keeping a running diary of the final, but stupidly ITV scheduled it to coincide with three things:
1) The Irish cricket team being in the middle of upsetting mighty Pakistan at the Cricket World Cup.
2) The second round of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, in glorious NASN jumpy-vision.
3) Me cooking dinner. I can't multi-task in the kitchen, it's just asking for trouble.
(Plus this is skating and I don't get paid for writing this. I'm not that stupid.)
Anyway, some notes from what I could be bothered to watch:
* Kyran didn't start well, only getting mostly 5.0s and even one 4.5. Perhaps he fell out with some of the judges? Still, at least getting on the wrong side with the judges is less dangerous than getting on the wrong side during a game of Rugby Union (did I mention I don't know what that means?).
* For the first time ever, Lorraine actually managed to make it through the show without asking if Torville and Dean are married to each other. She only does this because she knows it really winds me up. My guess is she just forgot to carry out this ritual on Saturday.
* Clare Buckfield got the best marks, including a host of 6.0s. Her partner Andrei continued to skate around with the look of a man who knows he's going to be deported once the show has finished.
* In spite of appearing to be utterly soulless, Andrei is praised by his skating partner. Personally I'd like to hear one of the celebrities say, "Actually they were a real pain to work with and I'm glad I don't have to do it any longer." Nowt wrong with some honesty every once in a while.
* The generosity in the marking seemed to go up for the final. It seems to me that no reality show wants a final where one of the participants is clearly shown to be a weak link, unless it is The X-Factor and Sharon Osbourne is involved.
* Speaking of judges, I think if they have another series of Dancing on Ice then they should ask Joanne Conway to be a judge. This would be purely so that she could be introduced with the words, "She fell on her backside in every major competition for Great Britain - it's Joanne Conway!" Her boyfriend (who's name escapes me) played for Sunderland in the 1992 F.A. Cup Final - amazingly he was worse in his chosen field than she was.
* On the subject of terrible, who writes Philip Schofield's puns? If someone skated to "I Shot the Sheriff" then I'd expect the ensuing line to be, "If you'd like this skater to be shot, then pick up the phone call and dial..."
Being fair (and speaking as someone who's only venture on skates led to him being "rescued" by his wife's ten-year-old cousin) these celebrities have become pretty skilled skaters. Kyran Bracken also seems to be a pretty nice bloke, and to a casual viewer's eye a worthy winner of the competition. It's hard to root against someone who accepts victory while graciously praising his partner and coaches.
I suspect there's a lady in Oxfordshire who was pretty happy with the final outcome as well. Hopefully if I was to bump into her again I wouldn't be on the wrong side of her any longer.
Have a good week!
Tony
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