27th February 2006
Hi all,
One of those quieter weeks which has just passed me by.
Fact of the matter is that I chose to really embarrass myself last night. I was on the phone to a good friend of mine. They're such a good friend that I won't even name them. Although they've done nothing wrong they may so embarrassed by what I did that they don't want to be associated with it.
Does anyone else find themselves being the relay man on the phone? I am consistently that person, the one who is the middleman relaying what the person I'm on the phone with said to the person I'm in the room with, and vice-versa.
Sometimes when you've had a long week things can become confusing, so that you start repeating what your wife said back to her, then turning your attention to your friend on the phone and calling him "sweetheart". Could I be any more embarrassed? See, this is what living with two females in the house will do to me. I think I need to spend more time in all-male environments, calling people "mate".
Onto other stuff before I totally humiliate myself...
Congratulations this week to American nurse Jessica Reed, who last week gave birth in a toilet for the second time. As the old saying goes, if it happens once that's unfortunate, but for it to happen twice is just careless. Surely you'd learn from the first time?
I've not actually mentioned this story to Lorraine yet. To be honest I'm frightened to, given that in the circumstances it must have clearly been a quick labour. There is also the fact that if anyone was likely to have been in the toilet at the moment Chloe was born then it was almost certainly going to have been me.
So poor Jessica Reed must be getting it in the neck from all sides. Mothers will envy the quick delivery, men will just think she's stupid for allowing this to happen a second time, kids will be asking, "I wasn't born in a toilet, was I?" The only people she may get some sympathy from are women who haven't had kids yet, who will worry that the same thing might happen to them. My advice? You wish you'll be that lucky.
Speaking of lucky no luck was required for the Scottish Rugby team against England on Saturday night. I happened to be out and about for much of the match, and kept hearing snippets like "terrific defending by Scotland" along with complaints about the English tactics. Still it sounds like the Scots deserved it, so well done to them.
In case anyone was wondering Rugby Union has joined Formula 1 in the list of sports which I won't watch on TV anymore, as there are too many things which bug me about it these days. These being:
1) The kits. Rugby kits used to be classy. Nice long sleeves, nice collars, lovely material. Now they've gone all football-esque on us, they're not unique anymore. Add in the various "additions" on the shirts (presumably there to help players hold onto the ball) and you have to admit they're not the sort of thing you'd buy anymore.
2) Something about the game is fundamentally wrong. I'm led to believe that in domestic English rugby you can earn bonus points for scoring a certain number of tries in a game. To quote Chesney from Coronation Street, "It's just wrong!" Points in leagues should be earned by victories and draws. The only score that should matter is if one team has scored more points than the other, not if they've passed a certain plateau. It is the daftest thing I've heard of since the NHL started awarding points to teams who lose games in overtime.
Obviously though something happened that necessitated it. That's right, people realised the game is boring and there aren't enough tries in it. In my lifetime alone tried in Rugby Union have gone from being worth three points to four points, and then to five points. Tries could be worth twenty-five points and still teams (okay, maybe just England) would still take three point penalties all day if given half a chance.
3) The rugby lifestyle. I heard plenty about this at University and I'm not elaborating. Horrific.
4) The game within a game. Another thing I don't want to go into, but I remember the stories about what is okay and what isn't okay, and what happens if you don't do what is okay. Let's just say that I'm glad I didn't know those kinds of things when I was forced to play Rugby at school.
On a happier note the British version of The Apprentice is back on our screens, which led to Neil Taylor and I happily exchanging text messages on Wednesday night. While I was mocking Alan Sugar's Premium Bond-endorsing adverts (yep, that's really how to build a ?700M fortune - "I believe in them!", yeah right!) Neil mocked prospective apprentice Syed. Syed can only blame himself, having suggested calling his team "The A Team". I can almost guarantee that he'll come away from the show and say he was edited badly, but unless there was an invisible gun to his head he's got no-one to blame but himself.
And what's the subject about this coming week? The teams have to produce a calendar in aid of Great Ormond Street! At the same time why not dig the Premium Bond adverts out and make them the first adverts to be shown on the BBC? "I believe in them!"
Anything to get rid of the TV Licence Fee...
Have a good week!
Tony
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