7th November 2005
Hi all,
Some drivel that I was considering while slightly regretting missing Tony Blair's appearance on Football Focus on Saturday (spin vs shaky autocue man could have been comedy gold, especially with Mark "2-1" Lawrenson added to the mix).
If you have a baby daughter and call her Lillian does she automatically age by about 45 years?
If I was single I could probably devote a whole thought to the subject "Kimberley Walsh: Where did it all go wrong?" (And yes, I know that Kim Wilde needs this far more than Miss Walsh does. Holland & Barrett? How very rock and roll.)
I wouldn't say work is going badly at the moment, but I'm not far off finding the guy who gave the bad guy in "Dirty Harry" a real beating, just so I can get a sick line for a while.
I'm the kind of guy who comes home from work and chills out by firing up "Madden 2004" and running up a 98-7 win over the Buffalo Bills. And yes, I'm disappointed that I didn't get into triple figures.
Incidentally running Madden after upgrading my PC gave me the first opportunity to see that you can run into people on the sideline and knock them over, even members of the officiating crew. Needless to say I'm now sending more kick-offs towards the sidelines than I did before.
Here's the First ScotRail model of effeciency. Enter Argyle Street station, get your ticket checked. Get on the train, get your ticket checked during your journey. Leave Motherwell station, get your ticket checked again. So for a twenty minute journey you see approximately ten people checking tickets, good ratio! And I pay ?65.75 for the privilege, fantastic.
As of Sunday night I had sixteen days left of work before my break, with only twelve cans of Pepsi in the cupboard. And as James Hunt might have said in August 1992, "Twelve into sixteen doesn't go."
I think if I make the joke that the blonde Conway sister is adopted during another X-Factor show Lorraine is going to batter me into next week.
Another point about the X-Factor. It seems by the e-mails and phone calls that I've received recently that Chenai wasn't very popular with most people (so nearly everyone would have been pleased to see her kicked off the show on Saturday night). This has also shown me that I've been living her to long, as I referred to her teary outbursts turning her into a "greety mess". This in turn leads to be having to explain to my English friends just what a "greety mess" is (you can work it out for yourself).
With all that's been happening in Scottish football recently I'm disappointed that no radio stations have taken the opportunity to play "Hearts in Trouble" from the "Days of Thunder" soundtrack yet. Incidentally if Graham Rix is going to take the vacant manager's position at Hearts may I be the first to make the "If you tolerate Rix then your children will be next" joke.
No, I'm not putting the anagram of Neil Warnock's name on this site, even if his Sheffield United team have just beaten Palace at the weekend.
Just when I thought some of the benefit forms for new parents were "only" twelve pages long out fell four extra pages from the middle of the booklet.
(By the way, remind me not to fill this out on a lunch break at work. The biros we are given as standard are beyond awful. Pieces of chalk would be more effective. They would certainly be less likely to break.)
In a blast from the past feature I loved the official Police statement regarding actor Ross Kemp being apparently beaten up by his wife, leading to her arrest. "A woman was arrested for alleged assault on a man," was the statement released as the news circulated. Brilliant, vague news is alive and well and being released by the Metropolitan Police!
(By the way, are the Mitchell brothers back in Eastenders? With all the magazine covers, tabloid coverage and endless BBC plugs I can't say I'd noticed whether they were or not. I'm actually more interested to see if the predictions my friends and I made back in April about Ruby and Stacey have come true.)
We haven't even come close to Christmas yet, and already e-mails are circulating about me trying to get together with the guys for a weekend away next summer. Yes, getting time away might really be that hard to come by. So much for the days as teenagers where we could organised things in a couple of hours.
Just in case anyone is interested, the first thing Lorraine wants to eat from the "forbidden during pregnancy" list after our baby is born are prawns. Roy Keane wouldn't be impressed (which suits me just fine, in case you hadn't guessed).
Some things in life never get old, like laughing at the size of Barbara Streisand's nose. Well, she does have a very big nose.
One closing thought: What's the worst thing about this time of year? The weather changing for the worst? The darker evenings? Or the awkward moments when someone puts you on the spot about what you want for Christmas, when your mind goes blank and you can't think of anything you'd really like. Guess what I'd pick?
(By the way, I'm more than happy to accept vouchers rather than something I might not like. I'm easily pleased that way.)
Have a good week!
Tony
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