10th October 2005
Hi all,
This week I intended to go through a list of sporting events that I've watched over the past week, and how they could have influenced the naming of our expected baby. However I've realised that there's something bigger in all of this, and that I probably take sports too seriously.
Today is one of the worst days in my year - the day that I know that the Atlanta Braves aren't going to win the World Series. I found out at 6.30am this morning as I went to bed before last night's marathon defeat in Houston had finished. I wasn't expecting much by that point, given that the team had lost a 6-1 lead in heartbreaking circumstances.
Being honest I didn't think the team were quite good enough this year, but that doesn't stop it hurting. Last night was like a slow torture. Once Adam LaRoche got thrown out trying to extend the lead I had a feeling it was a moment that would come back and haunt us (although at the time I had no idea that he was suffering with stomach flu and had been throwing up all day). Come the eighth inning Houston had loaded the bases with the dangerous Lance Berkman coming up to bat. I had a bad feeling and flicked channels. I flicked back to find the 6-1 lead was now just 6-5. Berkman had hit a Grand Slam. Great.
At 9.02pm British time the Astros were down to their last chance. I bailed, turned the TV over and tried to take my mind off things. I turned back on at 9.06pm. 6-6. The nightmare was happening, not before my eyes but unfortunately very much in reality.
What followed was almost as torturous as what had happened in the previous twenty minutes. To quote from an old Bill Simmons article we were a "Dead Man Walking" team, there wasn't any coming back from that. Even had a real spark been evident I've seen the Braves too many times. Lorraine knew it too. We knew it the way we know when something bad is going to happen, because we've seen it before and history has a nasty tendency to repeat itself.
As the extra innings passed I could only bare to watch the Braves hitting, knowing that just one Astros hit could be enough. "They always get to this point," commented Lorraine, basically inferring the truth: they never get any further. Not any more. Four straight times they've fallen at the first postseason hurdle, five times out of the last six.
At some point in the night Chris Burke brought five hours and fifty minutes of drama to end by hitting a home run off Joey Devine. Sure enough, one hit had been enough. The Astros were moving on, the Braves were going home for the winter, losing the best of five series 3-1.
Before the series started last week I thought the Braves were the underdogs, I thought it was unlikely that we would progress to the next round, much less the World Series. However there were some things that I thought would be different. The youngsters in the team would be more passionate than the veterans of previous years. The fans would react positively to the youngsters and fill Turner Field. The starting pitching would be better. It was going to be different, but it turned out to be the same story but with different names filling the gaps in the online recaps.
(I can't believe I actually feel sick typing this. It's over. Nothing can change now, and I still feel gutted. How do you explain this to someone who doesn't follow sports? They must think sports fans are mad - perhaps they have a point.)
I was driving into the train station this morning, thinking about how I might feel if I had been born somewhere else and been supporting a successful local team instead of taking on board the teams I have. What if I'd been born in Manchester, Liverpool, New York or Milan? Even Glasgow? The fortunate (and logical) conclusion I came to was that fans in these cities have their disappointments too, they're just relative. Knowing a Manchester United fan and a few Rangers fans I know they have the same highs and lows as other fans, just that the standard of opponent who causes them are a bit higher than most.
Meanwhile as I feel down about a group of millionaires losing a game Lorraine's cousin is going through the anguish of their two-year-old son being riddled with cancer. It is hardly comparable, is it? At the same point though it doesn't stop sports having their place, and they make up a big part of our lives because we enjoy them so much. I enjoyed Palace scoring two quick goals at QPR last Monday night (biting my lip as I jumped up each time so I wouldn't disturb Lorraine's phone call to her Mum), but if the season ends badly I'll be disappointed again.
Most worryingly is the fact that although I should know better I do get ridiculously wound up about it. I love baseball and yet I could barely watch some parts of the concluding game of the series. Before I got out of bed last Friday to check for the score of game two of the series I was tempted to stay in bed because I feared we had lost again. It isn't just the Braves, I'm probably worse with Palace. Before the deciding game at Charlton last May I was tetchy all week. I thought at the time it was because I was really tired, but perhaps that wasn't the case. When my teams win my mood lifts, when they lose it dips. It doesn't help that I support teams who are predictably unpredictable.
I'll take the liberty of quoting Bill Simmons again: "There's something honourable about loving a franchise through thick and thin. It prepares you for real life in a weird way -- sometimes your teams disappoint you, something they enthral you, but they're always there, and you learn to support them whether they're good or bad."
About ten years ago a friend of mine and I discussed how the bad moments in sports make the good ones worth it, and that's what I'm waiting for from these Braves. I want to go into work one morning with bloodshot eyes and a big smile because in the early hours the Braves won it all. I want to go to mlb.com and pay a ridiculous amount of postage to get a "World Series Champions" t-shirt. Ideally I'd love to turn up at Glasgow Airport, go to the British Airways desk and say, "Can you get me to Atlanta today?" It's unrealistic, but no less realistic than the thought of it happening again in the next few years.
Have a good week (chin up Braves fans)!
Tony
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