1st August 2005
Hi all,
Some drivel I thought of while waiting for the washing up to do itself (not happening by the looks of things)...
There's nothing like being at work, looking out of windows at grey skies and then passing a TV showing where one of your friends lives (in this case, Southsea) bathed in glorious sunshine. Fantastic.
No-one mentions that one of the advantages of your wife being pregnant is that you have a few months rest from having to direct your trolley down the feminine hygiene aisle of your local supermarket.
Lessons learnt from my father-in-law and brother-in-law, no.1: Petrol is cheaper when you don't pay for it yourself.
(Even better, follow the example of my father-in-law and just get your employer to pay for your car as well. That'll do nicely.)
If I really wanted to lower the tone of this site I could always ask my Mother to write an obituary for Edward Heath. It wouldn't be pretty.
I'm really hoping that when Jordan and Peter Andre finally tie the knot they'll have "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band for their first dance.
(Yes, I know I used the American spelling for that. That's the official listing on their Wikipedia page. Go ahead, shoot me.)
For those of us who've caught a single episode of Coronation Street in the past few years will know, there are now two meanings to the term "a face like fizz".
There are gullible people, very gullible people, even some people who'll say "Really?" when you tell them that the word gullible has been taken out of dictionary. However not even one of those people genuinely believes that Cristiano Ronaldo drives a Suzuki Swift.
Do any guys out there want to admit to liking Orange, Lemon and Pineapple squash? Strictly a drink for the ladies it seems.
Possibly the best thing about cricket is that it is about the only sport in the world which lists players' names with their initials. Best of the lot? I.V.A. Richards.
Picture the scene: You're about to sit down at your desk, ready to do a decent day's work. Then you decide to make sure that your mobile phone is on the silent setting, when you see that a friend has sent you a text message featuring lyrics from a certain Stefan Dennis song. Distractions don't come much bigger than that.
Here's a good way to depress yourself. Go over to the Wikipedia site and look up the people who were born in the same year you were, e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:1975_births.
I'm not ashamed to admit I was very happy to win a copy of the "Days of Thunder" soundtrack CD on eBay.
While we're on the topic of eBay I'm tempted to let everyone know my friend Pat's eBay username so you can look up the items he's selling. Even he laughs about the overuse of the word "rare" in his auctions.
There's pain, there's severe pain, and then there are mouth ulcers. To make things worse when they're on your lip you can't even moan properly. Ugh. Good excuse to keep some Bonjela on you though, possibly the nicest tasting medicine once you're too old to have Penicillin in that yellow liquid form. (I so hope my wife never reads this paragraph. I'll never live it down.)
I'll be kind and spare you all the details about the midge bites I got last Thursday night from playing football at Strathclyde Park. I will say that one on my shin was so big that I thought it was a bruise.
You can tell the weather has been bad when it is July and I'm not disagreeing with Lorraine's decision to put the heating on. Furthermore we went out on Saturday night and I actually had a Hot Chocolate. I think summer here has ended.
Typical Crystal Palace, no. 918: We bring out a book, celebrating the club's centenary, charge ?25 for it and make the final quarter of the book entirely advertising. At least the centenary DVD is apparently fantastic (you won't be surprised to learn that project was apparently outsourced).
Nothing is funnier than seeing your dog enjoying a good roll around when you take him for a walk, until you realise that you'll be the one responsible for cleaning him up when you get home.
You know you're watching too much NASN when you start looking forward to the Leanne Rimes/NASCAR advert.
Speaking of NASCAR, when a race finishes and all the leading cars flash across the line in quick succession I keep expecting one of the commentators to say, "Hey, but whatever happened to Dick Dastardly?"
On the infrequent occasions when the weather is nice up here I have to admit that washing my car and mowing my lawn are probably bottom of my list of priorities. There's clearly something wrong with me.
Three ways to have a fun Saturday: 1) Get stuck in a traffic jam on a local motorway when you come across unexpected roadworks. 2) Go to pick up some half-price Mint Cornettos, only to find they've sold out at the Supermarket making the offer. 3) Stay up and get on with chores after dropping the Mrs off at work (the last decision was definitely the worst).
Have a good week!
Tony
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