9th May 2005
Hi all,
I have to be honest, for a few months I wasn't looking forward to hitting thirty. Then I came round. Thirty is just a number, no big deal. When have you ever not looked forward to a birthday before? Don't be so stupid, look forward to it.
Of course that was all before I got home from work a few days beforehand and saw a copy of the Wishaw Press, opened up on a table. There before me was an announcement of my impending birthday, alongside a baby photo of yours truly. Lorraine was nowhere to be seen. As a matter of fact she was upstairs, hiding. Hiding and laughing. Laughing a lot if truth be told.
"She'll get it back with interest in August," I thought at the time, "don't you worry."
In all honesty though thirty doesn't feel too much different from twenty-nine. You get a few jokey "welcome to middle-age" remarks along with a few "what I wouldn't give to be that age again" comments (much nicer).
So what do you do if you turn thirty on a Saturday? Well if you're me you get woken up by your brother-in-law phoning up, asking if you can go online and get him tickets for the WWE event in Glasgow on June 16th. Something about the date sounded familiar, so I flicked ahead a couple of months on the calendar to see what was on or around that date. I scanned through the days to find the day, a Thursday. There is big letters was the name of my brother-in-law's wife, and a number in brackets underneath it. Yep, for her birthday my sister-in-law is being taken to the Wrestling. Not everyone's idea of a good time on their birthday, but when I spoke to her at a family dinner for my birthday on Sunday night she was thrilled to be going then. Good for her, why be conventional when you can do something you'd like to do instead?
I wasn't conventional myself. I turned down the opportunity to mow the lawn in nice weather to go out with my wife and dog. A typical take-away night becomes the opportunity to go for a nice meal. My choice of venue too. Not even a discussion about it. Needless to say towards the end of meal Lorraine mentioned how she didn't want to return there for her birthday, which is when I had to explain that where she went on her birthday would be her choice.
The following night we went out with Lorraine's family for dinner, and had to wait about an hour to be seated (it was one of those places where you can't reserve a table). When our name was finally called Lorraine's Dad just about shouted the word, "Hallelujah!" in a sarcastic manner, which was very difficult not to laugh at. We left there, came back to our home, shared some cake and that was that. Or so I thought.
You may remember a few weeks ago I wrote about how I had too good a time with my friends when I went to stay with Neil for a weekend. I had mentioned this to Lorraine, and as a result of this (or so I thought) she was fairly insistent that I spend a Saturday in the company of my friend (and near-neighbour) Stuart. So off Stuart and I went for an afternoon at the local driving range, followed by a few games of Pool. Stuart and I both enjoy Pool, but due to one thing and another (e.g. the fact we usually play Squash against each other instead of anything else) we've rarely played each other. On the way there, during our game and on the way home I must have bored him stupid retelling tales of times Neil and I have played each other. I must have bored him stupid.
After a few frames we got into Stuart's car and headed back home, with dinner apparently waiting for us at our house. Small problem - when I turned the lock we weren't just greeted by Lorraine and Gillian (Stuart's wife), but by a big crowd of our friends. My wife had well and truly got me. The thing was she hadn't finished. A few minutes later the doorbell rang, and there was Neil Taylor standing before me, visiting purely for the party, picked up by willing accomplice Lucy Partridge, one of my wife's many partners in crime, so it seems.
(By the way Neil came from the airport via the Greenock Morton vs Berwick game, which according to Neil, Lucy and Lucy's boyfriend Douglas was hysterical. Hopefully one of the three of them will write about it here in the coming weeks - here's hoping anyway.)
It goes without saying that we had a wonderful night. Of course now I have a problem - how exactly am I going to out-do my wife when August rolls around?
Have a good week!
Tony
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